Is Vancouver an unfriendly city?

On the bus on my way to work this morning there was a piece in the “24 Hours”? daily in which the reporter asked both men and women how easy it was to meet other people in the city. (I forget the exact wording, but you get the idea.)

Among the small group sampled, the consensus goes something like this: People you meet on the street (and I’m casting a broad, poorly sewn net here) are just generally not that outwardly friendly. In Montreal, according to one woman from the article, strangers you pass on the sidewalk are much more likely to make eye contact and smile. In Vancouver, chances are they’ll look the other way.

Now I don’t know if this is a recent thing or if I’ve only recently noticed it, but I think she’s right. Not only downtown, but in the suburbs too, the more I look for the friendly smile from passer-bys, the harder it is to find. Upon returning from a recent trip to a Midwest US state, the effect was more pronounced. People down there seemed “friendlier”? and strangers on the street were at least more likely to acknowledge that you actually existed.

Anyway, off the bus and on the SkyTrain platform that same morning, an interesting coincidence: As I was walking up the stairs, a train was arriving in the station. And because my morning schedule is such that if I make every transit connection seamlessly I arrive perfectly on time, I naturally started running (well, jogging) to ensure I would get on the busy train. See, the problem is you have to run all the way to the front car because the back few are always packed.

As an aside, why don’t people more naturally distribute themselves to the different cars? I never really understood that. I mean, you’ve got people pushing to cram themselves into one car while there are still free seats in another”? But I digress.

So I’m jogging to the empty car when this woman (younger) who was standing waiting to get into one of the busy cars stepped back slightly and her handbag swung directly into my path. I’m fairly athletic, but it was too late to alter course so I ran straight into it, knocking it out or her hand and a few meters across the platform. Ooops.

Naturally I look back and yell “I’m sorry”? as she yells “hey!”? Now the big decision. The doors are about to close at any second and I’ve still got a little ways to go to get to the empty car. I can easily read the look on her face: She wants desperately to yell something like “Fuck you jerk!”?, but thankfully she doesn’t “? I’ve already attracted enough negative attention to myself this morning. So do I go back and pick up her bag or get on the train and make it to work on time? As I sat down at my desk at 7:59, I couldn’t help but feeling a little disheartened at my decision”? I’ve never really thought that’s who I was, yet that split second decision seems to speak lots about who I’ve become. Maybe I’ve been living in Vancouver for too long.

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  • Visitors

    Been in Vancouver for three days now, immediately noticed the non-friendliness and feel sad that in a city so beautiful, surrounded by so much beautiful nature, I won’t miss Vancouver at all because there is NO HUMAN CONNECTION to be found. I actually have to get out of the habit of saying “Good morning” because I end up feeling like a schmuck each and every time I get ignored. Too big? Too many drugs? Too much money? Too little money? Whatever the explanation is something important is lacking here. I’ve been to 35 countries so I know what’s out there… thanks for your blog.

  • Ann

    This is soooo sad..I was thinking of moving there..are they really unfriendly or just scared?

  • Timbo

    … well I have to agree that Vancouver is beautiful but the people are not welcoming, and not interested. I have lived in four different cities gobally, and can objectively say my option is that Vancouver has no soul. The people live in indifference to others. It is sadly a Canadian anomaly. NIMBY

  • John

    It’s not only Vancouver. I’ve lived in a number of places across Canada, and Canadian cities are generally unfriendly (paranoid, depressed, peevish to be more descript). But now I’m sure I’ve found the most unpleasent spot in the entire Country – Nun’s Island! It’s a small suburb of Montreal and my wife and I were drawn there by the green spaces. Big mistake. We’re just waiting for the end of our lease.

    The problem is generally found in the larger cities, but medium size cities can be pretty nasty too – e.g. London Ontario. If you plan to escape the city one day, and settle in a more scerene location like PEI or New Brunswick, please make a extra effort not to corrupt these folks.

  • Saverio

    Been in Vancouver for 18 mths now. I disagree that Vancouver is unfriendly. Coming from London UK I thinkit is very friendly. However that’s where it ends. People here are very clicky, they have this fake friendliness about them, they”ll tell you to “have a good day” but that’s where it ends in other words I’ll be friendly to you but only at arms length.

  • Kerry

    I have been in Vancouver for a week and I am disgusted by how UNfriendly it is. I am serious as a heart attack when I say even the dogs snubbed me. If you pet them they look at you like it’s tacky. My son and I joke about that.
    But seriously, the passive aggressive nature is getting on my last nerve. I went to get breakfast at Urban Fare in Yaletown and the guy on the other side of the counter is staring at me. He says nothing. I finally say “I was hoping to order some breakfast.” He says “we open at 7″. Confused I say, “it’s 7:03″. The guy gives me a dirty look “I’ll be right back.” UNREAL I get this treatment EVERYWHERE in Vancouver. EVERYWHERE. People look at you like they smell something bad. They are never wrong and they don’t need logic to argue with you, even when you’re the customer! I’m staying in an expensive hotel & when I asked if housekeeping could please make sure they leave towels in my bathroom (I tip well & have to pay extra for the service since it’s technically a condo) I was told rudely, “they do that if they have time” WHAT?! You had time to take my money you better FIND time to leave me towels like every other hotel on the planet. I’ve had aboot enough of this.

  • Andre

    I moved to southern Ontario in 2009 from the Northeastern US and I have to say I find all the cities in this region to be excessively unfriendly. I’ve lived in London and Mississauga now, and in both places I found people to be reserved, passive-aggressive (ALWAYS have a chip on their shoulder but will not show it outright), and unhelpful. It’s really disappointing because you would think that Canadians would be more relaxed and friendly than Americans but once you actually get up here you realize that that’s not the case at all – if anything it’s the complete opposite. I now look forward to every opportunity to get to the other side of the border just to be treated like a human being.

  • Tessa Marie

    I have been doing my research on if Vancouver is friendly or not, because I am a friendly person and like to meet new people, but hearing that its clique-y, unfriendly, all this stuff, is really scaring me. Its one of the cities I have chosen and think about moving to, I want to go visit there first and see what its like. This is really scares me, I wanted to move there to fulfill my dreams, but I’m also told by people you’ll have your nice people and jerks everywhere, so, I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to take the risk and figure it out for myself, I’ve heard from some people that Vancouverites are very laid back and friendly, while now, I’ve been hearing they’re not. Its sad, there’s so much talent there and its a beautiful city, I think their shows, movies, actors, and actresses are better and more talented than the USA. My favorite actor lives in Vancouver, originally from LA, and is very friendly to his fans. :-/.